Pirouette

Some sort of
strange and silent
gravitational pull has made this place the absolute
center of the universe to me, this
3 mile radius this is the stage and
these are the limits the boundaries of the dance so
turn on the balls of your
feet now, dear

Okay I made it!

Okay I found a spot. Going at six. Decision made. Like a champ.

Decisions to decisions.

My heart is telling me to just laze around all day. I think.

Ask and you shall

Sigh.

I just got my official Welcome email from the producers and then personally from the director of my film, and then a few from bloggers and journalists I'd written, about the record and the show....

I fkn needed that.

What am I doing here.

Have you ever done public speaking?
Have you ever talked about your personal thoughts, to a room of strangers?
Have you ever sung in front of a bunch of people?
Have you ever played the piano too, at the same time?
Have you ever written a song?
About your personal feelings?
And shared it with someone?

With a bunch of strangers?

Twelve songs?

All earnest stuff, no jokes, no irony?

Do you have any idea how humiliating and unnatural that is?

Do you have any idea how hard?

Not to do, but to think about, afterward?

Do you have any idea how much it hurts, that without everything to cover it up and fix it and make it sound good, nobody likes it?

Not even friends?

Who is she??

man i need to be doped up

i am doping UP

i cant feel

i can only cry and its only out of fatigue

tie me off