Y'all just really don't give a SHIT.
I'm sure you mfs think I'm some self-absorbed princess who gets everything I want. Self-absorbed. All I do is think about your ASS and put myself in your shoes and open up my house to you and take your fucking SNARK because I know it comes from a place of insecurity and lack of self-awareness. And I know I have to take all this upon my shoulders, why, because I can, that's all, that's the reason, because I can. Because I can carry it for you. But I'm getting tired. I'm getting numb. I don't feel anything anymore. I don't smile anymore. This is self-centered tripe but this is my goddamn blog. My journal. And I don't COPY AND PASTE from it and SEND THAT TO YOU pretending I was WRITING TO YOU because I'm too lazy and inconsiderate to do so and I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU ANYWAY, do I?
I cannot imagine being so dispassionate as to contact someone who's been there for me through thick and thin and THEN some, and, the ONE person who has, in fact. The one and only. To contact them them once a month to ask for a favor. And then finally, to dump their problems three nights in a row for hours with no respect to person's schedule and not even ask how they're doing.
I take it all, I take it, I take the insults, the bile, the lack of understanding, the misdirected bullshit and just take and take and take and forgive and give and give and give my understanding-- I have nothing else to give-- I damn near don't have a pot to piss in cuz my toilet breaks. I can't buy clothes, I can't buy real shampoo, I can't buy vitamins, I can't live a healthier lifestyle because I can't afford it, I can't pay for medical treatments I can't pay car insurance or to fix my car or gas I can barely cover rent NONE OF THIS IS WORTH IT
FUCK ALL OF YOU
BYE
I'm sure you mfs think I'm some self-absorbed princess who gets everything I want. Self-absorbed. All I do is think about your ASS and put myself in your shoes and open up my house to you and take your fucking SNARK because I know it comes from a place of insecurity and lack of self-awareness. And I know I have to take all this upon my shoulders, why, because I can, that's all, that's the reason, because I can. Because I can carry it for you. But I'm getting tired. I'm getting numb. I don't feel anything anymore. I don't smile anymore. This is self-centered tripe but this is my goddamn blog. My journal. And I don't COPY AND PASTE from it and SEND THAT TO YOU pretending I was WRITING TO YOU because I'm too lazy and inconsiderate to do so and I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU ANYWAY, do I?
I cannot imagine being so dispassionate as to contact someone who's been there for me through thick and thin and THEN some, and, the ONE person who has, in fact. The one and only. To contact them them once a month to ask for a favor. And then finally, to dump their problems three nights in a row for hours with no respect to person's schedule and not even ask how they're doing.
I take it all, I take it, I take the insults, the bile, the lack of understanding, the misdirected bullshit and just take and take and take and forgive and give and give and give my understanding-- I have nothing else to give-- I damn near don't have a pot to piss in cuz my toilet breaks. I can't buy clothes, I can't buy real shampoo, I can't buy vitamins, I can't live a healthier lifestyle because I can't afford it, I can't pay for medical treatments I can't pay car insurance or to fix my car or gas I can barely cover rent NONE OF THIS IS WORTH IT
FUCK ALL OF YOU
BYE
I logged on to see if you'd posted anything because I've been thinking of you and wondering how you're doing. Sad to hear you're having a bad time. :(
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ReplyDeleteThere are always people out there if you do a little looking.
ReplyDelete@ks I'm sorry I've been out of touch. It's been tough lately. @Bathwater you're right. there are plenty. people are great. I've just been frustrated. I probably have no cause to be...
ReplyDeleteShit everyone has cause to be frustrated once in a while, we all get overwhelmed and want to say fuck it occasionally (it usually happens to me when I've been self medicating a bit too much).
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