My eyes

My eyes feel like a couple of turnips stuck into two holes in my head
I had the influence-a, the flu, the 'enza, for the past few days
(on top of it all, no shit)
but i'm watching gregory's girl
and it is halloween
so all is not last

come one come all and meet me at the haunted maze!!!!!

ok i was got, good. hahahaha

but those first few from the other numbers were real!

My Inbox

The following text messages are real.  Nothing has been changed to protect NOBODY, cuz they're fucking gila monsters, and they don't have rights.  I didn't change a thing, I don't have to add a thing, I don't even need to say anything except that I did not change a thing below:

----From------
681-75
----Message---
I am really interested in making you an offer for you vehicle. Please give me a call so that we can discuss it further. 347-478-5438
Danielle
----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
1:47pm


----From------
759-73
----Message---
Hello, I would like to buy your car.  We can pay  80 [sic] and even arrange all of the pick up and towing.
----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
4:28pm


----From------
759-73
----Message---
And as a client of mytrashedcar.com, we will buy you dinner on the evening of pick up
----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
4:33pm


----From------
759-73
----Message---
Dinner will be provided with your choice of mytrashedcar.com associate, male or female, your preference. Send us your email address and we will quickly s
----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
4:37pm


----From------
759-73
----Message---
end photos for you to choose your dinner escort.

----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
4:37pm

----From------
759-73
----Message---
Your prompt response is mandatory.

----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
4:40pm


----From------
759-73
----Message---
This exciting dinner offer will expire at 12AM EST if you don't reply with an email address. We would like to share photos of our associates' phaces so t

----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
4:58pm


----From------
759-73
----Message---
hat you may select.

----End-----
Oct 27, 11 (Thu)
4:58pm

And exhale, exhale, exhale.

Shit, well, I feel virtuous.  The utmost, uppermost, most foreboding part of my to-do list has been checked.

Check yoself, shit. 

I was avoiding it; I was paralyzed by it; I was able to read 600 page novels and write music and do 100 hours worth of admin work and make business plans but I was not able to DEAL with this shit, really.  I mean it was really a horrible experience, the car thing.  Like really sad and horrible and disappointing and cruel and unfair and in hindsight quite dangerous, and so it left me paralyzed both figuratively and literally, as I needed to be carted around everywhere, dependent, which feeling, if anyone knows me at all, should know really not make for a happy camper.  And it was adorned with other little unfathomabilities- phone breaking (which co-morbidity REALLY leads to paralysis), tooth breaking, and my own, willful adornment of pill-induced foghead and following withdrawal.

And there's all this stuff going on. 

And so much noise. 

And so now I've gone ahead and gotten my iPhone upgrade (yippee, more beeping) and towed my poor Blue from the collision place and diddled around a bit to find places that would purchase him til I found one that offered a satisfactory sum and no hassle, only to find myself today truly HASSLED, HARASSED and HARANGUED by these various gila monsters who are now interested in purchasing him for a measlier sum, and won't stop calling, even after I tell them no, and deliberately confuse me by ambiguously identifying themselves.  WTF is wrong with these people??? These used-carfolk??? When I first tried to buy a used car they did the same shit they just kept right the fuck on calling.  Both ends of the equation ultimate in hassle, in coked-up, geeked-up, gila monster hassle, blowing up my phone.  Calling AND texting and then calling again.

F.

But the nice people are coming to pick up Blue and pay me tomorrow.  And the pretty old car I was generously offered as long as I fix her up proper is sitting in the driveway, 100 meters from the shop, ready to be carted over there and fixed. 

So this productive week, during which I ran and made phonecalls and cleaned and went to auditions and did some work and paid off some shit and didn't avoid everything, was good, good yes good.  And I'm surely climbing out of the hole.

Next- work, next- DENTISTS and DOCTORS.

Dentists and doctors aren't a pain in the ass I don't have any antipathy toward them at all in fact I like them usually but the cost is murder when you don't have insurance and need like two surgical procedures done on your molars. 

And work is fun. 

I've been listening to Amy Winehouse lately.  Man is she good.  Rest in Peace, Angelgirl.

SNOW

WATCH

watch to the end please.  the end is especially important.

Rules for Writing

“Rules for Writing”

1. The reader is a friend, not an adversary, not a spectator.
2. Fiction that isn't an author's personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn't worth writing for anything but money.
3. Never use the word "then" as a ­conjunction – we have "and" for this purpose. Substituting "then" is the lazy or tone-deaf writer's non-solution to the problem of too many "ands" on the page.
4. Write in the third person unless a ­really distinctive first-person voice ­offers itself irresistibly.
5. When information becomes free and universally accessible, voluminous research for a novel is devalued along with it.
6. The most purely autobiographical ­fiction requires pure invention. Nobody ever wrote a more auto­biographical story than "The Metamorphosis".
7. You see more sitting still than chasing after.
8. It's doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction [the TIME magazine cover story detailed how Franzen physically disables the Net portal on his writing laptop].
9. Interesting verbs are seldom very interesting.
10. You have to love before you can be relentless.