Okay, so now I'm leaving at six in the morning. And I'm shooting my first scene tomorrow too... right from the airport, to the hotel to drop off my stuff and then to a wardrobe fitting, to hair and makeup, and to shoot...
I'm packed. I did some yoga. I worked on some lines. The place is pretty damn clean; anything more would really be unnecessary. It's just a long time.
But it's not really that long.
And I really can't wait.
Because I will FORGET MYSELF and MY LIFE completely, walk around, alone and anonymous and inconspicuous and free... Walk into a bar and pick up a conversation with a stranger... and then leave when I want... never see them again... God the freedom that life, as wonderful as it is, is a construction, like a piece of music, you have... all these choices.. but each choice you make, eliminates all the other choices you could have made, and then the next step, and the next step, and so on, and so forth, and we end building these, these cages around us-- cages and-- and depending on the skill of the composer or the architect-- they can be beautiful, they can be palatial, they can be epic and huge and ever expanding they can be fucking universes I believe, I believe that I do, I believe we can build fucking UNIVERSES but-- but until we do, or if we do, or regardless of if we don't, we have walls, if we have anything. If we have anything at all, we have walls. If we have anything at all we can't have everything we can't have everything unless we have nothing but this, but we can build, and we can FIND, we can create these
little loopholes
little hidden tunnels out of our cages, short ones into smaller cages that will crumble BUT:
the walls appear to be gone
for a short time
that's why. that's why i ever wanted to do this in the first place. these movies and things. get out of my life. experience someone else. be someone else and forget my walls, my walls, my waves
that way I can bring back, bring things back, bring material, bring ectoplasm bring a different want to build a beam, back to my own real waking dreamhouse
I'm packed. I did some yoga. I worked on some lines. The place is pretty damn clean; anything more would really be unnecessary. It's just a long time.
But it's not really that long.
And I really can't wait.
Because I will FORGET MYSELF and MY LIFE completely, walk around, alone and anonymous and inconspicuous and free... Walk into a bar and pick up a conversation with a stranger... and then leave when I want... never see them again... God the freedom that life, as wonderful as it is, is a construction, like a piece of music, you have... all these choices.. but each choice you make, eliminates all the other choices you could have made, and then the next step, and the next step, and so on, and so forth, and we end building these, these cages around us-- cages and-- and depending on the skill of the composer or the architect-- they can be beautiful, they can be palatial, they can be epic and huge and ever expanding they can be fucking universes I believe, I believe that I do, I believe we can build fucking UNIVERSES but-- but until we do, or if we do, or regardless of if we don't, we have walls, if we have anything. If we have anything at all, we have walls. If we have anything at all we can't have everything we can't have everything unless we have nothing but this, but we can build, and we can FIND, we can create these
little loopholes
little hidden tunnels out of our cages, short ones into smaller cages that will crumble BUT:
the walls appear to be gone
for a short time
that's why. that's why i ever wanted to do this in the first place. these movies and things. get out of my life. experience someone else. be someone else and forget my walls, my walls, my waves
that way I can bring back, bring things back, bring material, bring ectoplasm bring a different want to build a beam, back to my own real waking dreamhouse
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