There, it's finally done, and it took all day. So many thoughts ran through my veins in the yellow light. Now my sparkling floors and my sparkling hair and the empty spaces and the parallel lines, now they can mean nothing much at all.
I cut my hand and I got rid of that goddamn TV, enormous, broke, old and useless and unwieldy like everything he handed me down. Yeah Michael. Donor of the bed so misshapen and used up it crippled me for about a year and half. I lugged it out and put it at the end of the hall, that hideous old table with it, and there it sits, and it looks exactly like an album cover........ I don't remember which...... Eels maybe...... A TV on a table at the end of a hall. Center frame. Kind of creepy.
I just want to read a book while NOT being in motion, en route somewhere. I just want to daydream. What can you daydream when everything you wanted is real. What a strange loss, that is.
I am alone and you are alone and I sometimes feel ultimately worthy of praise but unworthy of love and childish as that is, you do too.
If the new table is parallel to the mattress and the wood paneling it's 4 30 am last night again and always will be.
Everything is in its place and now that feels like nothing at all, and the trash I take outside and then I feel the night air and then that feels like everything that ever is--
I'm going to run. As long as I can as far as I can as fast as I can as long as I can
I cut my hand and I got rid of that goddamn TV, enormous, broke, old and useless and unwieldy like everything he handed me down. Yeah Michael. Donor of the bed so misshapen and used up it crippled me for about a year and half. I lugged it out and put it at the end of the hall, that hideous old table with it, and there it sits, and it looks exactly like an album cover........ I don't remember which...... Eels maybe...... A TV on a table at the end of a hall. Center frame. Kind of creepy.
I just want to read a book while NOT being in motion, en route somewhere. I just want to daydream. What can you daydream when everything you wanted is real. What a strange loss, that is.
I am alone and you are alone and I sometimes feel ultimately worthy of praise but unworthy of love and childish as that is, you do too.
If the new table is parallel to the mattress and the wood paneling it's 4 30 am last night again and always will be.
Everything is in its place and now that feels like nothing at all, and the trash I take outside and then I feel the night air and then that feels like everything that ever is--
I'm going to run. As long as I can as far as I can as fast as I can as long as I can
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