Well I'm too busy to blue-- I'm not so busy that I couldn't take a couple days to hang, relax, and tonight to finish my book......... but the madness (antiMadness really) continues, and I'm in a better state of mind for it, I suppose because, I know I won't have to leave my cat for nearly a month straight, that's a main thing... and because filming is does... and filming is difficult in a way that music is not.  I never know if I'm prepared for it, I guess.  Something like that.  One thing really cool about film though:  theyre puzzles, they're puzzles you solve as you read and as you shoot and somehow everything makes sense in the end...

I wonder what it means to be happy.  I have everything I need for it.  And I am.  I have this sort of "tragic soul"... but it's not unhappy.  It's just that I find beauty sad.  A full moon, a cool breeze, a moment when...

I have done far too much talking for a long time.  I don't like to talk that much.  I can't stand arguing.  That's normal, who likes to argue?  Well actually a lot of people seem to love it.  I'd rather never do it at all. But talking too.  I need to let things sit and be some more, to be quiet.  To be quiet and to be healthy, quieter and healthier, if only just for a while. 

I'm just sensitive to gravity.  Gravity isn't sad.  It's just gravity.  Without it, we'd all just be floating around.



II

You know what you're good at?
Feigning candor.
Talking about the things that aren't really weren't really those things that changed your life that shaped you
They sound so personal
They're deceptive
Because it's the big things, it's those things about which you stay
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